(#NoTPain!!!)
So, recently on Twitter
@BornToRoyalty (follow her!!) questioned which females without the influence of alcohol, would approach a man they were attracted to? To which I responded “I’ve done it before and I’d do it again”. This sparked a convo between us (as we do, I mean really you should check some of our exchanges!)
For a woman to approach a man in that manner is seen to be quite “brave.” The majority of females if interested in a man will either a) front and ignore it or b) (as BTR said) “do the eye contact thing & hope he gets the msg!”
Now whilst the latter is far from a bad route, I mean face it who really likes rejection, why is it seen as such an abnormality for a woman to approach a man?
Y’all who sat there with Destiny’s Child screaming you bought it and declaring your independence are more likely to be the ones in the club sat around, top lip push up til ya sniffing it talking “man wants to push up on me and dance but he can’t even buy me a drink.” or “Nah blad I don’t know why he’s over there smiling at me, if he wants me to notice him, he needs to bring me a drink and introduce himself.” Did you leave your independence at home? If you want a drink why not buy yourself one and him too?
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I thought I’d give you a moment for that concept to sink in. YES I incredulously suggested that YOU bearer of breasts n flange dip into your fancy little purse and purchase a beverage for a Man! (This is where you chicks that spend £200 on your purse for the dance only to have nothing to put in it may feel to bow out, thanks for joining me). The below is very fitting here:
“#IdFeelEmbarassed If I went to a rave with a LV bag, remi hair, jimmy choo shoes& yet I'm begging for a ride home. Why can't u afford a taxi” - @BornToRoyalty
In the situation where I in the past approached a guy without boring you with details, I offered to buy him a drink and he initially looked at me as if I’d said “Strange man, can I have your babies?” then accepted and we engaged in lovely conversation and a 6 month whirlwind of good damn times. Woohoo!!
BTR however relayed a situation in which a friend done the same, she stood up, confident and comfortable enough to offer to buy a man a drink and what was his response? Did he gracefully accept? No! Politely decline? No! The man had the audacity to tell the lady she was “too forward” and he didn’t like it.
One time I bought a cinema ticket for a guy and his response was “how you doing that like man’s some bitch?!”……I refrained from the potential drama on that one, believe I wanted to cuss him. I know other ladies who have offered to pay yet have been told by men “no it’s the mans role” etc.
Our unified conclusion to the “being too forward” type comment: Male insecurity is a BITCH! Some male’s insecurity in their position as a man is the cause of many women refraining from being more open in initiating first contact and paying. If a woman has it “too together” (i.e. she has it more together than him) he will have a problem. There’s a thin line behind being a boy and a man.
Disclaimer: Don’t get it twisted though there’s some cheap ass women out there who better don’t even dare to consider using this post as a point of reference or as your new “reason” for being tight and selfish!
When I saw the following posted by @DiggyDash the day after it made me laugh ironically “Ladies, if you really like a man, why dont you ask him out on a date.. and pay? why is it the 'norm' that a man must make the first move?”
What the flying fox foot is a woman to do?! Make a move and we’re too forward, don’t and it’s a problem anyway.
From the perspective of a grown ass woman who handles her own I speak to the men out there: –
Do not be threatened or insulted by a woman who is actually confident and comfortable enough to show interest in you, whether that’s initial interest or by taking you out to show you our appreciation of you! We aren’t trying to make you feel redundant; we’re showing you that we see something special and/or different in you that we feel is worth a bigger investment than the money we are spending – Time investment! Money can be recouped, Time cannot! We are the Interdependent Women that are woman enough to let you be a man. Last time I checked being a man didn’t equate to being a walking bank account. We aren’t trying to crush your balls nor are we trying to belittle your position in our lives. All we’re showing you is that, in this day and age where so many women are self-centred witches lost in the crevice of their own ass, you deserve to be made to feel good about yourself, appreciated and looked after just as much as we Women do.
