Friday 31 December 2010

2011 Wish

So as we wrap up 2010 and reflect on all the good and bad that’s occurred, as we count all blessings and say thank you for the lessons I thought I’d do an end of year blog. I know it’s been a bit unlubed on my blog but Superdrug has BOGOF on Durex so I’ll be slapping some Cherry Pump Lube all up on this bitch in due course!!!! (I like a bit of JLS but I AINT buying those damn condoms with their faces on though what a foolishness!!!!)

Anyway for my end of year blog I’m not here to talk about my personal aims and wishes and dreams etc for 2011. I’m not going to sit here reminiscing on 2010 either, I mean like I was there I lived it jeez.
This blog is simply my wish for the beautiful ladies I know and have come to known, the ones I’ll encounter and the ones who I don’t know but hey I wish this for you also……
  
        GOOD SEX AND ORGASMS!!!!!!!!

Yes that’s right I said it! Let 2011 be the year that see’s us all say NO! to not getting ours my lovelies!!!

Say NO! to poor sexual escapades! 
Say NO! to below par penis work!
Say NO! to weak head game!
Say NO! to sloppy face bathing kisses!
Say NO! to him finishing first while you pull out  a toy to finish!
Say NO! to the same positions each and every time!
Say NO! to laying like a sack of potatoes n letting him go at it!
Say NO! to keeping schtum on what does and doesn’t do it for you!
Say NO! to building boundaries based on other peoples opinions!
This leaves plenty of space for us to say YES! YES! OH HELL FUCKIN YES!!!! To the damn great sex we want need and desire!!!!

For those of my ladies abstaining, BIG UP YOUR CHESTS! I’ve served my sentence though so I’ll be leaving you all to that *fist pump of support doe*

ALL THE BEST FOR THE YEAR CUMMIN LADIES!!! XOXOXOXO

Saturday 11 December 2010

"I Don't Want Dick Tonight......."

“……EAT MY PUSSY RIGHT” 

Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Muff Diving, Going Down, Lip Service, Box Lunch, Lickity Slit….call it what ya will but it all boils down to one thing innit – Eating Pussy!


I will be the first one to fling two han’ inna di air and say I love it. Yet in big big 2010, it still remains a taboo with many males (I struggle to use the word “Men” lol) still maintaining they don’t do it (and a small set of women who say they don’t like/want it but they likely never had it so their ignorance is their bliss…..)

Why?! 

There are 2 types of orgasm a woman can have – Clitoral and Vaginal and a LOT of women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Yet and still there are a multitude of men who are only interested in letting their snake (often read minute maggot) roam in the dark cave! {SELFISH BASTARDS!} Lest I forget those who’s idea of foreplay is sticking their crusty unmanicured hand into your precious well-tended garden and rummaging around like they’re digging in their toolbox!! Oh yeah and those who love for their mic to be rocked and neglect to deal with the fact the harmonica forms part of this band too!!!! {HYPOCRITES!!!!}


The “reasonings” I’ve heard:

“Eurgh, how do I know her pussys clean” – If a woman’s vajayjay isn’t clean why would you even contemplate sticking your dick in it let alone anything else?! An uncircumcised penis (massages temple) has more chance of being below par hygiene than a healthy vagina (note the use of healthy, ladies maintenance goes beyond your regular wax!) Dudes don’t forget to pull that skin back!!!

“Only man who’s dick aint up to par need to do that get me” – FOOL! As I mentioned before, 2 types of female orgasm. You could have a womb tickler for a dick but if you haven’t fully stimulated a woman or you have a woman who only orgasms clitorally you are NOT going to tip her over the edge. The smasher is these ones love receiving head, they love how it feels, love that stimulation and pleasurement… So why the floss would a woman not appreciate the same?!

“I aint doing that to some any chick that I aint married to” – Now whilst I agree people need to take some caution in whom they be getting oral with, this statement is shullbit! If you aint doing it before, you aint gonna do it after. And in the off chance you do, you’re likely not doing it because you want to, you’re now feeling obligated and head through obligation is not worth the wax job! Gahlang wid dat!

“Pussy Smells”Healthy Vaj does NOT! If a woman has scent issues when she parts her legs, you need to not even stick ya dick in it either.

I can accept these musings from a juvenile who’s still sexually educating (but do not get it twisted, I’ve heard some young’uns are holding it down better than some of you grown oafs) but when I hear these things coming from big men I’m shocked and pretty much disgusted! 



Having embarked on a period of abstinence I recently had my ability to have a reactivated sex life where this was excluded questioned…. LOL! I’ve had relationships without it before don’t get it twisted but when you upgrade from Boys To Men (no offence but you may well be a man who handles his own in various areas and aspects of his life but sexually, hey you can STILL be a boy!!!)

A woman that truly knows her body, knows what feels good and through experience knows what heightens her good feeling. When you take charge of your own orgasm and make it clear to your bed mate what’s working, what’s not and what you want you reach a heightened more fulfilling sexual plane. I’m sure the sexually liberated ladies can agree with me!

To conclude I leave you with the wise words of The Queen B Lil Kim “The moral of the story is this, You aint lickin’ this, You aint stickin this”



I’m Out!!!   

Tuesday 7 December 2010

Having Me Cake n Eating It!!!!!

So....I thought I'd start off doing what I do best - giving my opinion!!!

I'm a member of the Biggest Baddest Sexiest Carnival Mas band in London Bachanal Mas and anyone that knows me knows I LOVE this band. So, when the date was set for the Annual Christmas Dinner & Reunion I thought it would be nice to do a lil something special for them......

.........Cupcakes!!!! Who can resist the sweet treat that has become a major food fashion statement!

I put out a call on Twitter - I mean that's what Social Networking is for right?
I got a few responses and recommendations but being a true believer that first impressions count, I continued dialogue with the lovely @ChenChen_x who formally introduced me to Parisienne: The House Of Cupcakes. The name sounds like that of a fancy boutique.......but did her Cupcakes live up it?!

Customer Service::
From the initial Twitter exchange with my bagga questions every response was professional but yet personal! I received a professional invoice detailing what I was getting. There was a great deal on with the cupcakes at a reduced rate - AND I got a first time purchase discount (Everybody loves a discount, so why would I front!!!) A few days before my delivery was due I received an Email from Parisienne re the wording on my cakes. "Christmas" wouldn't fit with the rest of the message and so it was asked if I'd mind "Crimbo" instead. Believe in most places that woulda been flung on said way and I'd have had to deal with it so I was able to be truly confident that these cakes would be personal to me and my Mas Fam! 10/10


Presentation::
Even though it's going to go in our mouth and get chomped and chewed we as humans LOVE our food to look hella good before we anihilate it. These were simply stunning!!! Baring in mind these were brought to a dinner, people were trying to get involved with the cakes before dinner started! I issued various threats to cut off limbs!!!! The christmas colours and deco looked ab fab! Blingy cupcakes enuh!!!! Jeeeeez.

Modelled By The Lovely @thrutheblue  


The boxes they came in were FAB! I worried about them just sitting in a cake box when transporting but the cupcake sectioned boxes meant they arrived in tip top shape. 10/10

Merry Crimbo BMas Fam (Check that BLING!)

Taste::
We went to an All You Can Eat for dinner.....it was CARNAGE! Yet the cupcake boxes came out and hands were outstretched long long long! So to add to the pile of bones, we then had a pile of cupcake wrappers!!!! Moist, perfectly cooked, icing melted in your mouth, light, soft, tasty....all words that flew around and I can disagree with NONE! Baring in mind these were made on Saturday...today is Tuesday, I'm eating one as I type and it STILL tastes fully fresh, light n moist!!!! 10/10

Would I recommend them?! HELL YEAH!!
Would I used them again?! HELL YEAH!!!
Am I A Happy Customer?! HELL DAMN YEAH!!!!!!


Parisienne:The House Of Cupcakes - FULLY ENDORSED!!!

Who Is She?!

I'm loud...... Yet I'm quiet,
I'm dark but......so light,
I'm outgoing.....but shy,
Such a clown but damn I'm serious,
I'm the silent whisper that screams until your ears ring,
I am awake when I sleep,
I am a bittersweet symphony of contradictive natures that fuse as one to create...ME!!!!

If ya know me or if ya follow me on Twitter you likely know I am an opinionated cow who loves her friends, loves music, loves sex, loves life (finally) and most importantly loves herself (despite what you n you n you think mate!!!)

Why "Talk Di Tings"? Cos this blog has no real direction! I'm not a beauty, fashion, music or make up blogger. I'm not a writer per se - though I do write. I don't sky dive or do marathons - I don't even run for the bus (Shoutouts to #TeamBangsOnTheRun though!!!). I'm just a person with something to say about most things and I've now given myself the arena to scream it - YAY!!!

WELCOME TO A PIECE OF MY MIND!!!!!